About Her. She. The Dreaded Sister-in-Law.

For those of you who say, "Yeah yeah yeah. I've heard it all before. You have an annoying sister-in-law. Big deal," I give you: Edith. Now, of course Edith isn't her real name. I can't use anyone's real name because (and this will become very clear in the posts to come), if Edith knew about this blog, bad things would happen to my husband and his parents.

I call her Edith because there's something vaguely evocative of a younger Edith Bunker about her. Yes - if you took Edith Bunker and removed the following traits, you'd have my sister-in-law: 20 years of age, a sense of taste (yes, our Edith's is worse), the ability to cook, and a soul. Now add 150 lbs and you have our Edith, my sister-in-law, the scourge of my husband's family.

Edith's basic defining characteristic is her unflagging, nay unwavering sense that she possesses all knowledge of what is good and right in the universe and that she personifies that same good. If you want to know anything from the one and only way to properly celebrate a birthday to the one and only way to conduct one's professional life: ask Edith. In fact, the biggest sin you can commit in Edith's world is NOT consulting her on any given subject. Here's an example:

I was hospitalized briefly last year and diagnosed with a (thankfully temporary) health condition. This was pretty upsetting, as you can imagine. I was diagnosed and hospitalized in a span of about 12 hours - overnight. The next morning, as I lay in my hospital bed, my mother in law called me. She informed me that I needed to call Edith and tell her, or Edith would be very upset that she wasn't consulted right away.

Now, many of you will say, "That's not Edith's fault - your mother in law called you." You have a point, but the bigger point is this: My mother in law was correct in her assessment of Edith's response.

To recap:

1. I was diagnosed with a life-threatening condition and hospitalized.
2. Less than 24 hours after the diagnosis, Edith's only apparent response is to be angry and "hurt" that I did not call her first.

Welcome

Welcome! If you've found your way here, I figure it's likely that you, too, have a crazy ass sister-in-law. Whether it's your brother's uptight judgmental wife or your husband's bloated, screeching sister or your wife's mumbling, glaring mess of a sister - you feel my pain.

Ah, the sister-in-law. Just close enough to make life hell on earth for every holiday from Christmas to Guy Fawkes day and just far enough that you can go home and have hope that someday, somehow things will change. Of course, they never do.

This blog is a place for me to vent, share, give ideas and generally say all the shit I can't say in front of anyone else.

Also, I might post recipes. Enjoy!